I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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