I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
