Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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