i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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