Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
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