I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
