is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This is my gift to your gina
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
