Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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