I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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