im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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