I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
