I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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