Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
