when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
