Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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