I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
