Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
