so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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