Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
