I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
PANTIES FOUND
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