What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
