the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
