It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
