im six kinds of drunk right now
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
