I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
