Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
