He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
