you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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