Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...

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(518): View more from New York

She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment

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(850): View more from Florida

You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.

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(443): View more from Maryland

she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.

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(904): View more from Florida

After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...

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(925): View more from California

Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.

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(619): View more from California

I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze

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