I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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