Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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