it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
