just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sorry about my life...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
