mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
