Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
