I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
