Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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