Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
