she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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