is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
