So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I didn't notice because vodka
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
