Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
