i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
