Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
