drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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