sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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