i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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