Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
