so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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