Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
