He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
