I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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